Do you still have your period?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
