he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
