everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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