Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
