I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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