Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
