He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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