Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
