you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
