Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
