she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
