my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
