plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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