Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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