So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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