Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
