Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
