the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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