is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
