I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
