I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
