Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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