so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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