I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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