I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
