Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
