everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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