How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
