he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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