After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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