dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
