ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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