sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
