the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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