If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
