Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
