So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
