We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
