ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
