i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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