i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
