I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love having hate sex.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
