I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
