how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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