Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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