Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
