Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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