Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
