What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
