I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
